The Harvest From Hell

A poem from the west that sums up the 2008 Wheat harvest in many parts of Australia.

The Harvest from Hell…

This year will always be one to remember
We started out sane and went mad by December

The year started so well – we had cash in the bank
But things went downhill our hopes quickly sank

Costs went through the roof but our crop had potential
To make money this year good yields were essential

But on one frosty night our hopes were dashed
And to top it all off the stock market crashed

Grain prices plummeted – they said they wouldn’t!
We rang our marketers for help – they said they couldn’t!

So we focused on harvest but things went awry
When rainclouds started to fill the sky

It drizzled in the mornings – it rained at night
We had the heater on in the header – this just wasn’t right

The moisture meter became like our right arm
We’d test on the hour all over the farm

We take tests from the header, the silos, the truck
But the moisture won’t change – just our bloody luck!

We take tests to the bin praying our meters not right
But it tests even higher like we thought it just might

The men start to mope – they hang round at home
Complaining about the wife’s use of the phone

But a list of home duties placed where they will see
Has them racing to the shed where they’ll stay till tea

A day in one paddock quickly turns to seven
Hughie’s plumbing must be faulty up there in heaven

The weatherman’s forecasting more and more rain
The bank balance is starting to feel the strain

The barley’s gone mouldy the wheat’s sure to sprout
There’s more rain in the gauge who cares what amount

Christmas is canceled we’re on spending restrictions
This constant rain is causing relationship frictions

But it’s been like this before and one thing that is true
Our mood may be dark but our beer will be too!!

By Kate Furphy

(Thanks to Agmates member Rowell Walton)